Saturday, April 2, 2011

Just For Laughs...

I just need a break from all the crazy non-stop madness from the right wing. Between the every growing anti-woman legislation, to privatizing Medicare and replacing it with vouchers so the elderly can buy private insurance, my head is about to explode. I truly hate the GOP and everything they stand for. They are ruining the country. I'm not wealthy, I'm not poor, I'm totally average. I have an IRA and 401K, but when I get to my golden years, the Republican plan will never allow me to retire. I will not be able to afford $1000 per month for health insurance. I'm not alone. It seems they are literally trying to thin the herd without saying so. Why doesn't the Democratic Party fight back with real numbers? The old farts glued to Faux, clinging to their Bible while hating on gays, who vote for this party don't give a chit because it doesn't affect anyone currently enrolled. And the younger zombies clinging to their guns while hating on gays who vote for this party are a bunch of meglomaniacs who think that winning Powerball ticket is just a drawing away. Alan Grayson was right about the Republican plan. His reward was a multi-million dollar campaign by far-right interests to knock him out of office. Floridians voted against their own best interests.
Don't get sick, but if you do, die quickly  
So here's a few things to hopefully make you smile. I need a drink.

Bill Maher March 25, 201l

Bill Maher April 1, 2011

There's been a car accident and there are injuries.
The liberal checks for victim responses, calls 911 and waits for the ambulance to arrive.
The conservative checks the victim for a cell phone because he/she doesn't want to use their minutes calling for help.

A woman in a hot air balloon realizes she is lost. She lowers her altitude and spots a man fishing from a boat below. She shouts to him, 'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am. The man consults his portable GPS and replies, 'You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude. She rolls her eyes and says, 'You must be a Democrat!' 'I am,' replies the man. 'How did you know?' 'Well,' answers the balloonist, 'everything you tell me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you're not much help to me.' The man smiles and responds, 'You must be a Republican.' 'I am,' replies the balloonist. 'How did you know?' 'Well,' says the man, 'You don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault.

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